Pure Energy

I’m a firm believer that people harness various forms of energy. We’ve all encountered positive and negative people in our lives. Have you ever asked yourself what makes them positive? What makes them negative? Is it really what they say? Or is it how they act?

I believe it all comes down to energy.

There are people that exude positive or negative energy. There are people that manage to suck all the positive energy from you, and those that give it back to you.

I know it sounds silly. Perhaps a bit new-age sounding in theory, but I really believe it’s true. As a parent I especially believe it to be true. Nobody constantly tries to drain your energy reserves in the way that a child can who is constantly demanding your attention.

I read a book several years ago about positive and negative energy in people and the ‘types’ of people you should avoid and the types you should seek out. I don’t remember the title or author of the book, but I do know that it stuck with me.

Chuck and I had discussed years and years ago the idea of endopsychic and exopsychic individuals. We’ve both had friends over the years that have been endopsychic, they manage to pull energy from you in large doses to keep themselves stable. These are the sort of friends that you love, but you also have to limit your exposure to. They will eventually tap all of your energy and leave you empty and in need of more energy yourself. There are also friends that you try to keep close because you know they’re always willing to replenish when your energy reserves are low.

I think Chuck and I as a couple work very much this way. I like to envision a teeter-totter. A delicate balance. When one of us is in need of more energy, whether it be due to a crisis at work, a frustration with family, or just a bout with depression, we start to rise on the scale. The balance is thrown off. The other one of us hands out positive energy and the person becomes heavier again and we become balanced once again. We often do this to one another to keep ourselves in check.

Lately I’ve been feeling a little down in my energy reserves. I spend most of my time with my coworkers and I don’t receive the same flux of positive energy that I did when I worked in Massena. In fact I find that my workplace drains my energy on a daily basis. Even though my job at Massena was incredibly chaotic and busy as I taught 8 classes a day and served on every committee imaginable, I still found the students provided me with a tremendous amount of energy during the day and that the staff provided me with whatever I was missing.

One person that I miss the most is Joanie. She was the secretary at my old school. She was gruff, honest, and took crap from no one. She also had a heart of gold. Many people couldn’t deal with her. They thought she was too blunt, too negative. What most of them didn’t realize is that her negativity was overflowing with positive energy. I spent a lot of time hanging around the office, listening to her deal with other people, listening to her honestly tell me what she was thinking with much description and I just ate it up.

When I had my initial job interview at Massena I first met with the principal. I entered the school and the first sight I saw was the main office cluttered in MC Escher, cool photographs and artwork and I immediately was hit with the energy of the place. I felt at home right away.

I hope to see Joanie again soon. I miss her and am depleted. I need another dose of her energy.

On the other side I went to bed last night angry after reading a blog that drained all the energy out of me. I felt violated and was angry about it. This person by many descriptions would be considered ‘high maintenance.’ Even the blog posts seem to carry a neediness within that immediately turned me off. Two words, overly dramatic. And not in a funny way!

If you haven’t taken a moment to think about the energy that surrounds you, do it. Think of your coworkers, your spouse, your family, your friends. Think of those that make you feel good when you’re in their presence and those that drain you.

You’ll soon understand what I’m talking about.

This post originally appeared in my personal blog Furore and Frenzy in March of 2007.